Response to Screenplay feedback

After the feedback we added and improved some of the bits that needed to be.

Revised Screenplay (2) by shanaechiz

Feedback on Screenplay Obsession

We talked to our teachers after our second draft and they gave us some feedback such as :

• To be more concise when describing the scene
• Not to leave gaps in-between the name of the character and their dialogue
• Add description to the type of transition
• A change of phrase from 'Close-up of' to 'Montage of'. from this i know that I have to make my self familiar with the jargon involved with screenplay/script writing
• My description on the scene needs to be precise, for example, I was describing how our opening credits would be distorted and went on to mention two possible ways to distort the text, however what I should have done is picked one rather than write both, as if the decision hasn't been made.
• Common error such as punctuation, commas, capital letters ect. 
• Another error was that I wrote 'Scene 1' because I wanted to show that in the films e are going back to the setting and situation of the first scene, however I was told that you can't go backwards with scene numbers, even though it is a continuation of the first seven, the cast and crew know it as scene 3.
• Furthermore, I included camera shots and movement in my screen play, even though it shouldn't be included
• In addition, I was advised to split the scene into two considering in the script, we are moving into a completely different setting with a different objective.
• The last note was a reminder that we only have two mins, and considering that each page in a script corresponds to a minute in filming and my script was 6 pages long, I needed to condense it further

we were still told to include the revised script as it had camera shots and camera movements.

Shooting Schedule

Shooting Schedule

Story Board Thriller

Story Board Thriller from Donna_Ella

Se7en Analyses

We watched the film Se7en in class and did an analyses this is what I wrote from the lesson

Conventions of Thrillers such as:

• ·     Chases
• ·         Suspense
• ·         Uncertainty
• ·         Murder
• ·        A pattern with a missing link

Sound

·           Distorted screeching (non-diegetic sounds)

·          Long music usually using strings (non-diegetic sounds)

·          Building deep music (non-diegetic music)

·          Police siren (diegetic sounds)

·          Clock ticking (diegetic sound)

·          Storm (diegetic sound)

·          City sounds (diegetic sound)

Lighting

·          Dark tint at the beginning highlighting it as a dark thriller

·          Grey tint when crime scene showing the depression of the crime scene

·          The lighting is mostly natural lighting throughout the film this connotes it is made to be highly realistic

·          It uses flashes of red lighting throughout the film to maybe connote danger and construct a certain image into the audiences head

Camera Work

·          POV point of view

·          Zoom in/out

·          Birds eye view

·          Tack and Pan

·          Mid-shot

·          Long-shot

·          Over the shoulder

·          Low angle

·          Handheld camera

·          Close ups

Mise en scene

·          Rain

·          80’s era clothing

·          Lamps and torches

·          Forensic equipment

·          Large detective jackets

·          Colour red used in film to show danger in a lot of aspects of clothing, doors, flashing lights ect…

Reviews of Se7en

Some of the key sentences and words i picked up from a few of Se7en's reviews ....


EMPIRE ESSAY: Se7en : Empireonline.com

•  substantial project 
•  self-deprecating screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker 
•  develop the visual and thematic 
•  cinematography 
•  jagged editing of 
•  music and the slightly cesspool stylised performances
•  retro-noir style 

 Se7en – Totalfilm.com

•  still exerts a dark, crushing stranglehold on the imagination.
•  jittery credits 
•  cliches 
•  scene-by-scene scrutiny 
•  colours leap out of the gloom.
• medium

Se7en (1995) – BBC

Reviewed by Almar Haflidason

Updated 3 April 2001      15

•  plundered to the point of audience exhaustion
• sub-genre with the brutally dull
•  visual and verbal, to nauseating effect.
• The pace is fast and the shocks build beautifully
•  convincing horror

Camera Shots

I changed groups so i used this as my camera shot piece and the next video as my preliminary task.